The Circle of Life, Here and There  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Once again, the circle of life comes full swing here at Pendragon Hold. One of the two flying squirrels that we adopted, the male Rocky, suddenly and inexplicably passed away yesterday. He was found huddled at the bottom of their cage and was removed to a warmed box with soft towels, but having no idea what ailed him, we could only wait it out, and he expired quietly. Only the Gods know why they choose to call him to summerland, but as always, they have the last word on that subject. This afternoon he will receive the same send-off all our late animal friends have granted. Merry Part, Rocky!

Rocky's erstwhile mate, Natasha, never really seemed to get along with Rocky as well as we would have hoped, and I doubt that they ever had or ever would have mated, so she is left alone now. We can only hope we did not misunderstand their relationship and she does not pass on shortly behind him with a broken heart. Yes, I have entertained the idea of releasing her to "the wild", but I don't think she's had any experience in that regard and would probably fall prey rapidly to anything predatory that exists in the vicinity, if not dying of starvation for never having been taught by wild parents to forage properly. So, she remains with us, where at least she is safe and VERY well fed.

Having won some sort of bonus having to do with her job and her union, the Not-So-Evil-yet-Very-Wicked-Twin has treated herself to a new tattoo, which turned out pretty good in my opinion. She is even going to treat THE Wife to one of her own, and the Head Witch is busy researching the perfect art to adorn her backside with. With something so permanent, it's not an easy choice to make.

If I wasn't so damn allergic to pain myself, I would probably break down and finally get one, but perhaps when I retire and no longer have to face the specter of drug tests, I might self-medicate myself and get one then.

OK, I have been proven wrong, and the Mars Phoenix lander is safely down on the surface of the Red Planet after making a several million mile hole in one. So, tell me, why couldn't the good folks at JPL have sent one of those "ever-ready bunny" rovers to rove on over to the landing site and actually give us live coverage of that lander coming down? Now THAT would have been video to end all video!

Wouldn't it be ironic, though, if in a century or so, the only evidence of intelligent life in this solar system ends up being two hardy little Mars rovers searching diligently for life?

Captain ECLECTIC Strikes Again!  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Well, the eyeball doctor is dragging out the BIG guns, the EXPENSIVE big guns, as in steroid eye drops and Restasis, which drained the bank account, but where my vision is concerned, well, you got me by the balls. Seems almost every night I am jerked awake by an eyelid peeling off a dried-out eyeball and irritating the hell out of my cornea. Last night it happened about three in the A.M. despite the fact that I had practically drowned my eye in night time lubricant. The tear production mechanisms of my left eye have all but shut down for some reason so I am going to have to constantly use lubricants and drugs in an effort to calm the irritation and get the natural tears flowing again. The idea of losing my sight over this gives me the willies, to tell the truth.

In an effort to combat those unwelcome visitors in the garden, I have made up a batch of tonic consisting of onion, garlic, peppers, vegetable oil, and Murphy's oil soap. It remains to be seen wether or not this stuff works, but it sure would make a vampire uncomfortable....hehe.

This Sunday the good folks at NASA are going to litter the surface of Mars with another several million dollars worth of the taxpayer's money. There are already two small craters where the last two landers landed.....hard. Considering how fast this thing is going when it bores into the thin atmosphere of the Red Planet, changing from fuckingFAST mode to a rocket-buffered 5 MPH touchdown, it's no wonder that anything that could have possibly went wrong DID go wrong with the first two attempts using this kind of lander. The really successful method has been the "bouncing beach ball" air bag planet smacker, but these rocket scientists in their great wisdom felt that the extra weight involved in the PROVEN design was over their weight budget. These guys should never have been allowed to watch those old Flash Gordon Movies.

If they had given this project to the good folks at Walmart, they'd be opening their first Super-Center on the Red Planet by now.

If you look over at my links, you might have already noticed the one for "The Gods are Bored". If you can appreciate some really good Pagan humor, this is the go-to girl! Every post has had me rolling on the floor laughing! Oh......I'm sorry.....that's ROTFL! Anyway, she has that tongue-in-cheek, let's-not-take-ourselves-so-seriously approach to Paganism that takes any shred of "scary" out of the whole concept of not being Christian. Not that she can't show her displeasure at those who try to paint us with false brushes, but she does it in such a way that totally disarms them while making them look so silly. I REALLY enjoy her depictions of her two daughters, the "Heir" and the "Spare". Believe me, she can actually make you believe that offspring aren't necessarily possessed by demons! I love reading this woman and I know you will to, so get over there and give her a read.

But tell me, why hasn't President Bush invaded Burma and established Freedom and Democracy for all those unfortunate cyclone victims whose own government appears to be trying to starve them to death?

Oh, what was I thinking........ never mind. No oil.

I received one of those "You-have-been-terribly-harmed-by-some-company-you-never-heard-of" letters in the mail which tells me that if I provide the proper proof-of-harm, I too can take part in a class-action settlement which will enrich me to the tune of ten bucks (yes, I said $10.00, total) for some slight they claim I endured for which they have sued and won a settlement. Of course, the one person who hired the lawyers ( who, incidentally, will make a HUGE chuck of money) will get somewhere around $5000 (yes, I said five BIG ONES) for having been slighted the most, but the rest of us can rejoice for being so ably represented and the bad guys smitten for having dared done us wrong!

I would very much like to hang these lawyers for having killed these trees to inform me of this stupidity.

Of course, I do have the option of telling the court why I think this settlement is not fair and equitable, but it would probably cost me a lot more than that ten bucks to do so, and I would probably end up in jail for contempt for telling the judge what I REALLY think of him for even hearing this case. So, I will just throw this five page form into the circular file where it belongs and SOMEHOW get along without that ten bucks I am throwing away with it.

And I wonder how many are rushing to their mailboxes now to get in their claims......?

The Evil Twin, for whom I am having to carefully reconsider the nickname, came into some change and is going to treat her Momma and Poppa (OK, then, STEP Poppa) to dinner at Red Lobster. Like I said, sometimes the offspring amaze us, and in the end they make us glad to have reproduced. I just personally think that the planet could use a little less reproduction and a little more reproductive restraint. One good and one evil twin is offspring enough to carry on the madness as far as I'm concerned.

Congress dragged the Oil tycoons back in front of them for some more grilling. And, as usual, I haven't seen anybody hauled off to jail. I think these sub committees just love to hear themselves talk, but I haven't ever seen them accomplish anything. Hell, I can bitch and moan with the best of them, and I do it for FREE! Pay ME to legislate and you'll see some friggin' heads roll for once.

As a parting note, could someone please explain to me why cats always pick out the non-cat person in the family to hang around? Is it out of spite? THE Wife is the witch, for Goddess sake, shouldn't she be hanging all over HER? Of course not.
These creatures, after all, came here to enslave US, not the other way around.

Blessed Be, and for Pan's sake, don't drink the yellow cool-aide!

Dry Eye, Kuwait, and Wilting Tomatoes (Where else do you find THIS kind of Eclectic?)  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

It's the middle of the week and things have calmed down here at the Hold, except for the ongoing battle of the veggies with whatever may be ailing them. These little green worms have been munching on the pole beans, and in return, I have been hunting them down and sending them along to worm summerland whenever I can find them. The afflicted tomato plants, however, appear to be doomed and will probably have to be pulled up. Such a shame, they coulda been contenders!

Seems my left eye is having a hard time healing since I first suffered the dry-eye injury in my sleep. I awoke several days ago in the wee hours of the morning with another tear simply because I thought I had made so much progress with the drops and eye gel before bedtime that I skipped the gel for that night and WHAM.........right back where i started. Tomorrow I have to go back to Dr Eyeballs and I think he wants to install a protective contact lens in the eye until we can get the damn thing to moisten back up. The idea of losing sight, even in one eye, scares me shitless. He can do anything he thinks will stop this as far as I'm concerned.

My good friend/army reservist Eddy is now in Kuwait, getting his final training and readiness before heading into harm's way to do his job. He has on his person a charm made and blessed by THE Wife, THE Witch, and thus he has more than body armor to protect him. Plus, he has our constant intent that he remain safe in our hearts every day. If you all knew Eddy like we do, you would care about his safety too, so, hey, let's all pretend that Eddy is a close personal friend, or is even related to, each and every one of us, and send those good thoughts out there to him as well as his comrades. It's the least we can all do, considering we haven't impeached Bush and brought them ALL home.

I read where Barrack Obama has been adopted into the Crow indian Nation. OK, I really don't have much faith in ANY career politician, simply due to the fact that by their very nature, they are to damn distant from real life problems, nor do many of them have the common sense necessary to even taking a stab at really solving them, but I have to admit, that what with the three choices we are facing right now, he does come out far ahead as far as I'm concerned. And no, it's not BECAUSE he is "black". Yes, I firmly believe that having a woman president is long overdue, and I think Hillary is the first to come along that has the qualities necessary to occupy that office. I even thought John McCain once might make a half-way decent Commander in Chief, that is, before he turned into the ultimate flip-flopping kiss-up, selling his soul to curry favor with all the wrong voters on the wrong side of the aisle. The man actually had enough integrity to get Republicans mad at him once, only now, it seems he can't perjure himself enough in a desperate attempt to sound like some kind of bad ass conservative with the cross of Jesus in one hand and a nuclear weapon in the other.

So, that leaves us, or at least me, with Obama. Given my ULTIMATE choice, I would vote for Ralph Nader, who actually has the INTELLIGENCE and EMPATHY to really turn this nation around and possibly save our collective asses from ourselves. Problem is, we are Americans, an entitled collection of pompous, self-absorbed consumers who can't pig out enough on everything and have long lost any concept of restraint, fair play, justice, or common sense. Thus, the closest thing we now have to someone that enough Americans will vote for is another politician, who makes all the right promises, who may or may not do the right thing when the rubber hits the road. Yes, he has the ability to restore our good name in the international community; yes, he has the ability to put us on the road to a sensible energy policy and make a dent in Global warming, and yes, I think he really does care for US as a people and isn't some frontman for corporate interests.

But is that enough? Our whole CULTURE is in serious need of a major overhaul if we can even HOPE to slow down this slide into oblivion that these past administrations have put us on. This whole idea of freedom meaning that anything goes as long as someone hasn't passed a law against it, or even despite it, is what is going to get all of us killed and make this planet unlivable for our grandchildren. It takes education, it takes social engineering, and a constant drumbeat of concern and honesty about what is happening to our biosphere if we have any chance to avoid turning this beautiful sphere into Venus number two.

A candidate that understands the threats we are REALLY up against.......well.....I guess that person would have to be Christ come back to Earth, but the way the Christians paint him, he won't be coming back to save us, but to cash in our checks,
That's rather ironic, if you think about it, because it is the Christian ethic that has morphed into this mindset that has put nature and the powerless on the back burner and brought us to the would we now live in. Why care for a planet that is going to get burned in judgement and redeveloped into cosmic heavenly condos anyway? I kissed God's ass so I get my own condo, so why should I care about my fellow man?

Boy, what a fucked up thought process.

But, that's what we have, and that's what we are gonna be living with for the next few decades before the shit REALLY starts hitting the fan and we all go into panic mode and start manufacturing Soylent Green* and......well........sigh

That's the mindset here today at Pendragon Hold. May your own reality be as real.

*Soylent Green is people. Go dig up the movie.

The Dervish came down from Georgia.......  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Well, the wild and wooly weekend is just about over. THE Wife's BGF is back home in Georgia, it's raining off and on outside, and we are finishing off the night with a movie, "Pan's Labyrinth".

I took friday off so that I could help THE Wife get the place looking as if we actually spent time keeping it looking neat and clean, and before the day was over, it actually was. Then SHE arrived, the Georgian banshee in the purple PT Cruiser. The women of the house LEAPT into her arms while I watched from a safe distance, and thus began the weekend of feminine gossip, tall tales and debauchery, which included ample amounts of alcohol and ..................yea, lots of alcohol.

I am fortunate to have spent the last 13 years pretty much outnumbered by women, either at work or at home, thus I was fairly well inoculated from the damage wrought by getting ganged up on by these three. Hell, I even sorta enjoyed the attention, even if it was mostly at my expense. Still, maybe I need to find me some "fishing buddies" for times such as these. (Who says ya HAVE to go "fishing", anyway?)

And now the garden report, and it isn't all good. The girl friend brought with her some much-needed rain, which all gardens love, but it seems the pests have discovered our succulent veggies and two of our tomato plants, with fruit no less, decided to up and wilt on us. They just collapsed upon themselves and we have no idea why, since there was no damage from insects on the effected plants. I went to the store and got two new disease-resistant replacements along with some fish emulsion to fertilize everything with. I have my fingers crossed.

Also, I decided to get to work on the arbor entrance to the shade garden/sacred space and at about 90% finished, I think it looks pretty nice, if I say so myself. I know THE Wife sure likes it and will paint it next weekend.

And that's what's going on at Pendragon Hold, our little acre of sand just off the beaten path. Blessed Be!

These Pipes Are CLEAN!!!!!!  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Ladies and Gentlemen, fellow Bloggers and friends, I have survived my first colonoscopy, and save the fates playing some really cruel trick on me, I have been given a clean bill of health! There WERE two small polyps (which were duly removed and shipped off to the experts in these kinds of things) but the innards Doc is pretty sure they were innocent bystanders (benign).

Being versed in these kinds of things due to working in a Critical Care Unit, I insisted on being dosed with Propophal versus Versaid, the one flat knocking you out while the other only putting you into a "twilight" state, which induces amnesia but allows you to experience the "experience", which I didn't care to experience, TYVM. However, I discovered something about that milky white stuff I wasn't prepared for, and that was the extreme pain I felt as it entered my veins. Now, to their credit, the anesthesiologist HAD fed me some lydocain first and mixed with the sedative, but it seems I am highly sensitive to the stuff and it wasn't enough to save me some extreme discomfort before it knocked me out cold. Other than that, I suppose it was a really fun party, because I awoke afterwards none the worse for wear or embarrassment for having several strangers explore the wonders of my nether regions.

If you are over fifty as are THE Wife and I, GET YOURS AND GET IT NOW. Believe me, it's nothing compared to the world of hurt you will be in if something nasty decides to grow in your bowels and you catch it to late.

Now, I do HAVE to admit that there is ONE nasty little something one must do before the day of the deed. You have to drink some truly evil liquid which doesn't taste all that good which promptly flushes everything your guts ever contained out and FAST!

But, I have experienced worse things in life.

I think.

Anyway, I leave you tonight with the following. May it take your mind off the pictures I painted for you....grin.

Dancing With Goats  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Yes, yes, I know. I have been offline for awhile. I have been delinquent in my responsibilities to you, my loyal readers, who thrive on the drama and hijinks here at Pendragon Hold. Yet, now, REJOICE, for I have returned, and all is now right in the world!

Would you believe pretty good?

How about tolerable?

Look, I know that gas prices are going out of sight and food is fast becoming a luxury these days, but it COULD be worse. Presidents could serve for more than two terms, and they could stop making Hagendaz any day now.

Anyway, I really did have a good excuse for about 2/3rds of my absence. You see, I woke up one morning, and something in my eye didn't get washed out by the usual blinking/tearing system and instead dug a nice little trench across my cornea. Later that day the irritation got so bad I called up THE Wife (who just HAPPENS to work for and EYE DOCTOR) and she got me squeezed in for an appointment. Some numbing drops and antibiotics and an eye patch later, THE Wife drives me home and I lose two days of work. I go back to work this weekend, but despite some lingering irritation, I can see well enough.

The other 1/3rd? Well, once I was able to tolerate the bright sunshine, I was very busy catching up on the chores, the goats, the world of work's-never-done here at Pendragon Hold.

I and THE Wife have finally gotten around to scheduling our "pipe inspections" and mine will be this Tuesday. The "bad thing" happening to my co-worker really brought it home to us that the test is LONG overdue. Hopefully I will be able to announce to the world that THESE PIPES ARE CLEAN!

The first one who can name the movie and actor that THAT line came from wins the "Royal Order of Obscurity" award for 2008. I can't remember who won the one for 2007.

DUBYA's "Economic Stupidity Package" money finally arrived in our bank account and we are trying very hard to spend it on things that really need to get spent on. However, we did allow ourselves a FEW niceties, including a new digital camera that takes AA batteries so that I can take more than two pics before the damn worn out proprietary battery conks out like has been happening in my old workhorse.

Does anybody remember "The Great Escape" starring Steve McQueen? Well, our goat Billy has a contrary attitude about confinement much like old Steve did, and somehow managed to jump the back fence into the neighbors' yard. My neighbor, Gods bless her soul, managed to grab the miscreant by the horns and wrestle him back into our yard. That was the good news. The bad news is that Billy knows how to open the gates into the inner sanctum from the back forty and promptly did a tasty tour of our terrace AND shade garden. We were greeted by our helpful neighbor as we arrived home from shopping and immediately dashed into the back to find him doing what goats love to do, which is eat anything he remotely thinks he isn't supposed to. Sooooooooooo.............

That next afternoon I wrapped that entire enclosure with electric fence. And having personally tested it by almost getting knocked on my ass from the jolt, I can assure you that no goat will PASS! Billy IS a very smart animal. Besides knowing how to figure out how to get thru a gate, he also refuses to come near those bright yellow wires. Good Billy. Good SMART Billy! Good one- more- escapade- like- that- and- it's- BARBECUE TIME, Billy!

Both THE WIFE and her long lost girlfriend from Georgia are looking so forward to their reunion in little more than a week. They write to each other constantly and you'd think they were twins separated a birth or something. From what I gather, this woman is a real hellion and things are bound to get interesting once they get together and the tequila starts flowing. I, as an ordinary man and vastly outnumbered, probably should have tried to arrange a fishing trip somewhere about that time. I just don't have those kinds of friends and I haven't fished since the last one crawled up on land and asked for Darwin. Well, if I survive this, I assure you I will do my best to fill you all in on the "event" Stay tuned, and you Christians can pray for me if you want, I don't mind.

Did you know Soylent Green is people? It will be.


Posted by Alex Pendragon

Just wanted everybody to know that I wanted to post but I scratched my eye and I have a patch and I can't see worth a crap so this is it for now and I"ll post about this maybe in a few days.