Captain ECLECTIC Strikes Again!  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Well, the eyeball doctor is dragging out the BIG guns, the EXPENSIVE big guns, as in steroid eye drops and Restasis, which drained the bank account, but where my vision is concerned, well, you got me by the balls. Seems almost every night I am jerked awake by an eyelid peeling off a dried-out eyeball and irritating the hell out of my cornea. Last night it happened about three in the A.M. despite the fact that I had practically drowned my eye in night time lubricant. The tear production mechanisms of my left eye have all but shut down for some reason so I am going to have to constantly use lubricants and drugs in an effort to calm the irritation and get the natural tears flowing again. The idea of losing my sight over this gives me the willies, to tell the truth.

In an effort to combat those unwelcome visitors in the garden, I have made up a batch of tonic consisting of onion, garlic, peppers, vegetable oil, and Murphy's oil soap. It remains to be seen wether or not this stuff works, but it sure would make a vampire uncomfortable....hehe.

This Sunday the good folks at NASA are going to litter the surface of Mars with another several million dollars worth of the taxpayer's money. There are already two small craters where the last two landers landed.....hard. Considering how fast this thing is going when it bores into the thin atmosphere of the Red Planet, changing from fuckingFAST mode to a rocket-buffered 5 MPH touchdown, it's no wonder that anything that could have possibly went wrong DID go wrong with the first two attempts using this kind of lander. The really successful method has been the "bouncing beach ball" air bag planet smacker, but these rocket scientists in their great wisdom felt that the extra weight involved in the PROVEN design was over their weight budget. These guys should never have been allowed to watch those old Flash Gordon Movies.

If they had given this project to the good folks at Walmart, they'd be opening their first Super-Center on the Red Planet by now.

If you look over at my links, you might have already noticed the one for "The Gods are Bored". If you can appreciate some really good Pagan humor, this is the go-to girl! Every post has had me rolling on the floor laughing! Oh......I'm sorry.....that's ROTFL! Anyway, she has that tongue-in-cheek, let's-not-take-ourselves-so-seriously approach to Paganism that takes any shred of "scary" out of the whole concept of not being Christian. Not that she can't show her displeasure at those who try to paint us with false brushes, but she does it in such a way that totally disarms them while making them look so silly. I REALLY enjoy her depictions of her two daughters, the "Heir" and the "Spare". Believe me, she can actually make you believe that offspring aren't necessarily possessed by demons! I love reading this woman and I know you will to, so get over there and give her a read.

But tell me, why hasn't President Bush invaded Burma and established Freedom and Democracy for all those unfortunate cyclone victims whose own government appears to be trying to starve them to death?

Oh, what was I thinking........ never mind. No oil.

I received one of those "You-have-been-terribly-harmed-by-some-company-you-never-heard-of" letters in the mail which tells me that if I provide the proper proof-of-harm, I too can take part in a class-action settlement which will enrich me to the tune of ten bucks (yes, I said $10.00, total) for some slight they claim I endured for which they have sued and won a settlement. Of course, the one person who hired the lawyers ( who, incidentally, will make a HUGE chuck of money) will get somewhere around $5000 (yes, I said five BIG ONES) for having been slighted the most, but the rest of us can rejoice for being so ably represented and the bad guys smitten for having dared done us wrong!

I would very much like to hang these lawyers for having killed these trees to inform me of this stupidity.

Of course, I do have the option of telling the court why I think this settlement is not fair and equitable, but it would probably cost me a lot more than that ten bucks to do so, and I would probably end up in jail for contempt for telling the judge what I REALLY think of him for even hearing this case. So, I will just throw this five page form into the circular file where it belongs and SOMEHOW get along without that ten bucks I am throwing away with it.

And I wonder how many are rushing to their mailboxes now to get in their claims......?

The Evil Twin, for whom I am having to carefully reconsider the nickname, came into some change and is going to treat her Momma and Poppa (OK, then, STEP Poppa) to dinner at Red Lobster. Like I said, sometimes the offspring amaze us, and in the end they make us glad to have reproduced. I just personally think that the planet could use a little less reproduction and a little more reproductive restraint. One good and one evil twin is offspring enough to carry on the madness as far as I'm concerned.

Congress dragged the Oil tycoons back in front of them for some more grilling. And, as usual, I haven't seen anybody hauled off to jail. I think these sub committees just love to hear themselves talk, but I haven't ever seen them accomplish anything. Hell, I can bitch and moan with the best of them, and I do it for FREE! Pay ME to legislate and you'll see some friggin' heads roll for once.

As a parting note, could someone please explain to me why cats always pick out the non-cat person in the family to hang around? Is it out of spite? THE Wife is the witch, for Goddess sake, shouldn't she be hanging all over HER? Of course not.
These creatures, after all, came here to enslave US, not the other way around.

Blessed Be, and for Pan's sake, don't drink the yellow cool-aide!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 23, 2008 at Friday, May 23, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

2 slick comments

Losing your sight, even in one eye, is not something that evokes rejoicing. Sincerely hope this condition rights itself ASAP - which means "rigt fucking now!"

May 23, 2008 at 11:03 PM

What Buff said...

Your kitty is adorable and simply knows she already possesses the mrs. michael. She is now after your heart and soul and I predict she will have it soon enough. :)

May 24, 2008 at 3:34 PM

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