Dancing With Goats  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

Yes, yes, I know. I have been offline for awhile. I have been delinquent in my responsibilities to you, my loyal readers, who thrive on the drama and hijinks here at Pendragon Hold. Yet, now, REJOICE, for I have returned, and all is now right in the world!

Would you believe pretty good?

How about tolerable?

Look, I know that gas prices are going out of sight and food is fast becoming a luxury these days, but it COULD be worse. Presidents could serve for more than two terms, and they could stop making Hagendaz any day now.

Anyway, I really did have a good excuse for about 2/3rds of my absence. You see, I woke up one morning, and something in my eye didn't get washed out by the usual blinking/tearing system and instead dug a nice little trench across my cornea. Later that day the irritation got so bad I called up THE Wife (who just HAPPENS to work for and EYE DOCTOR) and she got me squeezed in for an appointment. Some numbing drops and antibiotics and an eye patch later, THE Wife drives me home and I lose two days of work. I go back to work this weekend, but despite some lingering irritation, I can see well enough.

The other 1/3rd? Well, once I was able to tolerate the bright sunshine, I was very busy catching up on the chores, the goats, the world of work's-never-done here at Pendragon Hold.

I and THE Wife have finally gotten around to scheduling our "pipe inspections" and mine will be this Tuesday. The "bad thing" happening to my co-worker really brought it home to us that the test is LONG overdue. Hopefully I will be able to announce to the world that THESE PIPES ARE CLEAN!

The first one who can name the movie and actor that THAT line came from wins the "Royal Order of Obscurity" award for 2008. I can't remember who won the one for 2007.

DUBYA's "Economic Stupidity Package" money finally arrived in our bank account and we are trying very hard to spend it on things that really need to get spent on. However, we did allow ourselves a FEW niceties, including a new digital camera that takes AA batteries so that I can take more than two pics before the damn worn out proprietary battery conks out like has been happening in my old workhorse.

Does anybody remember "The Great Escape" starring Steve McQueen? Well, our goat Billy has a contrary attitude about confinement much like old Steve did, and somehow managed to jump the back fence into the neighbors' yard. My neighbor, Gods bless her soul, managed to grab the miscreant by the horns and wrestle him back into our yard. That was the good news. The bad news is that Billy knows how to open the gates into the inner sanctum from the back forty and promptly did a tasty tour of our terrace AND shade garden. We were greeted by our helpful neighbor as we arrived home from shopping and immediately dashed into the back to find him doing what goats love to do, which is eat anything he remotely thinks he isn't supposed to. Sooooooooooo.............

That next afternoon I wrapped that entire enclosure with electric fence. And having personally tested it by almost getting knocked on my ass from the jolt, I can assure you that no goat will PASS! Billy IS a very smart animal. Besides knowing how to figure out how to get thru a gate, he also refuses to come near those bright yellow wires. Good Billy. Good SMART Billy! Good one- more- escapade- like- that- and- it's- BARBECUE TIME, Billy!

Both THE WIFE and her long lost girlfriend from Georgia are looking so forward to their reunion in little more than a week. They write to each other constantly and you'd think they were twins separated a birth or something. From what I gather, this woman is a real hellion and things are bound to get interesting once they get together and the tequila starts flowing. I, as an ordinary man and vastly outnumbered, probably should have tried to arrange a fishing trip somewhere about that time. I just don't have those kinds of friends and I haven't fished since the last one crawled up on land and asked for Darwin. Well, if I survive this, I assure you I will do my best to fill you all in on the "event" Stay tuned, and you Christians can pray for me if you want, I don't mind.

Did you know Soylent Green is people? It will be.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 9, 2008 at Friday, May 09, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

2 slick comments


Thank goodness. Balance has at last returned to the universe.

May 10, 2008 at 1:06 AM

I eagerly await stories of The Wife and her VBF!

May 12, 2008 at 5:45 PM

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