Home alone with me and my sick thoughts........  

Posted by Alex Pendragon

As so often is the case with married life, a man's day off rests upon the whims of wives, and thus I spent this one within a house in disarray, furniture and stuff scattered about as we make room to paint her work room that witchy shade of purple she wanted. Looks more like grape cool-aid to me, but then, I'm no Picasso, am I? I also had dishes, laundry, cats, a dog, and goats to tend to. Listening to internet radio or NPR, the day passes easily, as I have no deadline to meet for any of these tasks.

I also get to share some chat time with Eddy in Iraq and Paul in Arizona. It amazes me when I stop to think about it, how nowadays you can communicate instantly with anyone on the planet with the right equipment and connections, when only 30 years ago such capabilities would have been solely the purview of some agency with access to super-secret high technology like the NSA. Hell, I have no doubt that I could target a hellfire missile onto some hapless sheep herder in the middle of Afghanistan with this computer if I only knew the right URL and had the proper flight control program installed. Not that I would WANT that kind of god-like power.

Then again, maybe I would....hehe.

And now to the news. It seems that hundreds of young, DEAD penguins are NOT washing up on the shores of South America, as the continuing weird consequences of Global Warming ARE NOT being visited upon the landmass of Antarctica. The Southern-most area of our globe is now NOT experiencing something that has never occurred before in recorded history, such as actual blizzards with real snow and freezing rains which drench then kill baby penguins in their nesting areas. I'm so glad that global warming is nothing but a liberal conspiracy to rob hard working oil barons of their hard-earned oil wealth, otherwise I would actually be alarmed and might want to do something about it, like back up some dump-trucks full of plastic, oil coated flotsam onto the property of their McMansions and give THEM a dose of what it's like to have this crap dumped on THEM. Yes, it would be terrible, being an entitled American and all, if I had to pull my fat head out of the sand and notice anything strange going on in the world that might have anything to do with my opulent demands for a larger-than-life lifestyle that nobody can afford to sustain and still hope to save this planet from the results. I wish I could afford an SUV so that I could drive down to the marina and offer to dust the interior of one of these fine capitalist yachts just to show my appreciation for their contributions to our superior culture.

When Rome burned, did it smell like toast? I like toast. Especially garlic toast. TEXAS garlic toast. You DO know that anything with TEXAS next to it is bigger than anything else, right?

Oh, hell, what am I thinking? I want some ALASKAN toast!

No slice of toast too big for THIS 'merkin, nosiree!

I have to go puke now............

This entry was posted on Monday, July 21, 2008 at Monday, July 21, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 slick comments


Oh God, those poor little penguins. That just makes me so sick and sad.

July 21, 2008 at 8:00 PM

Me? I'm just tired.

July 22, 2008 at 12:03 PM

Yesterday I saw previews to an animated movie in which penguins were flying an airplane. Just goes to prove that penguins aren't flightless but can fly.

July 22, 2008 at 2:28 PM

Your wife is a goddess and purple is her color indeed. :)

July 25, 2008 at 1:51 AM

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